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We all know the story. It’s the middle of the night in Solace, Raistlin is having a nightmare, and Caramon decides to do something about it. |
| Well, there’s a bright
idea.
Let Caramon fix Raistlin’s psychological tendencies toward nightmares. Because we all know Caramon is the one we want tampering with peoples’ minds… |
 |
Sheesh.
But moving on.
Caramon tiptoes to his sleeping brother’s side, sits down on the edge of the bed, and wakes him up...
AGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Yeah, that was Raistlin screaming.)
And so Raistlin
starts to cry.
He sobs and sniffles…
After all, he’s just a little
guy,
and he’s crying in the middle of the night, having
horrible nightmares…
To comfort him,
Caramon puts his arms around his smaller
twin and forms his
hand into the picture of a bunny.
|
|
“Look, Raist – bunnies!” he says.
But then again, let’s take a CLOSER look at what’s |
It’s all about the bunnies.
Somehow, one of the millions of the conniving little creatures figured out that Raistlin was going to become a...
...really...
...really...
...really...
...powerful mage.
Do they wish him luck?
NO!
Do they try to help him?
NO!!!
WHAT do they do??
??????????
I’ll TELL you what they do – they decide to get into his head.
And the easiest way was, of
course, Caramon.
(After all, we all know Caramon was,
er, *cough cough* easy,
now don’t we?)
Anyway.
I know it sounds hard to believe… but would you just
LOOK AT THIS!
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V
Harmless enough, right?
Kinda cute and cuddly, in fact…
Fuzzy, and fluffy, and would you look
at those cute widdle paws, and those fwuffy widdle ears…
NO!!!!
Look away
before they get you too!
QUICK!
I MEAN IT!
-
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There! Whew… That was a close one. You must understand - the bunnies are after us! This is no joke, my friends. They tried to use harmless-seeming shadow puppets to control one of the most powerful wizards to ever walk the face of Krynn!
Think about it. One
day, Caramon is walking out to go work in the fields, when –
oh, look –
it’s a bunny! How cute! Soon, he starts seeing bunnies everywhere –
at the farm...
in town...
in his bedroom…
Every time he closes his eyes, there are bunnies!
Hunting him!
STALKING HIM!
They’re EVERYWHERE I tell you!
Eh… Anyway. So
his brother has a nightmare.
Caramon goes to comfort him...
...and what’s the first thing he thinks of?
| That’s right, ladies and gentlemen – it's the
bunnies.
So it’s “Look Raist, bunnies!" Every time Raist has a nightmare – “Bunnies!” |
|
 |
Raistlin gets rocks
thrown at him by the kids at school.
Raistlin finds Caramon
taking a roll in the hay with Miranda,
the little |
(Well, okay, Caramon didn’t use bunnies for that one...
But if he had known how anguished his brother was over it, what would he have said?
You guessed it – bunnies!)
Raistlin comes inches away from death after suffering a cold and a self-imposed guilt trip that almost kill him, after he's forced to sit by and watch helplessly as his mother wastes away and dies, leaving him cold, alone, and orphaned with only the stifling, smothering love of an already bunny brainwashed brother who could never POSSIBLY come to understand him...
"BUNNIES,
RAIST! BUNNIES!"
(I mean, how inane is THAT???)
Every single time anything bad happens to Raistlin,
Caramon is RIGHT THERE--
shoving bunnies in
his face!
It’s aversion shock therapy, for crying out loud!!
*WHACK!!*
“Bunnies...”
*SIZZLE!!*
“Bunnies!”
*AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHH!!*
“Bunnies!”
As though Raistlin
hadn't suffered enough psychological damage ALREADY, what with
gold skin, and liches,
and dragons (--oh my!)
After going through this all his life, it’s a wonder that Raistlin didn’t hitch up those robes of his and run screaming from every floppy-eared cotton-tailed creature he ever saw!
But why would the bunnies do such a thing,
you ask?
No one knows.
All we can do is try and spread the word about the
bunnies
and their vile plans.
Even now, they're multiplying,
forming up their ranks in preparation...
Getting ready to
launch whatever vile assault they've got planned,
forever loosing upon Krynn the
--ultimate terror--
The horror that is BUNNY!
Even now, B-Day
approaches! Help stop the bunny
madness!
Take one of these with you back to your site!
Stand proud, knowing that you’ve done a
good deed.
In time, if enough of us stand up and do what we know is
right,
maybe we
can stop this thing…
…before it’s too late.
